A/N: The JunHara part is a bit of irrelevant. I was planning on a different storyline but my bestfriend kept on rushing me so I decided to go a different way. But I just can't make myself erase that part. Hope you enjoy! =))))))
This is my first fanfic so I hope you bear with me and my shortcomings. :)))))
Your POV
I opened my eyes on a Saturday morning and yawned. Why, oh, why can't we enjoy Saturdays as much as we used to before? It's just 4:30 in the morning but due to the distance of my home from the university I'm going to plus my schedule, I needed to wake up early each day. But I guess I could use more sleep. I'll just have to wake up after 30 minutes. Off to dreamland again, I thought as I finally drifted away..
..................
"Hello, (country)! I am Doojoon Yoon."
"I am Gikwang Lee."
"Junhyung Yong."
"Yoseob Yang."
"Hyunseung Jang."
"Dongwoon Son."
"And we are B2ST."
"We are going to have our second concert there on (your birthday), 2012," Doojoon.
"As a part of our 2nd anniversary celebration. So we are again asking for your love and support," Dongwoon.
"See you there!" BEAST.
"Kyaaaaa~!" I squealed like there was no tomorrow. My heart was beating fast. Finally!
"Hey. Get a grip of yourself. Why, do you have a ticket already? If I know, seconds later, it will all be sold out," K said.
My friends and I were strolling in a mall when we passed by an appliance shop where BEAST's promotion video of their concert here in our country was flashed.
"What do you call this?" I said smugly as I flashed a small strip of paper.
"No way! You've got to be kidding me," she said.
"You know I never joke about things like these," I said, still the smug plastered on my face.
"I think I saw something like that. Wait," Ruth said as she searched for something in her bag. "I found it!" she said as she flashed the strip of paper identical to mine.
"You, too?!" I said in disbelief.
"Of course!" Ruth replied. We both squealed in delight. While K and Chan just rolled their eyes and laughed.
The whole day passed with me blabbering about the upcoming concert. I felt guilty talking about it whenever I look at Chan and K since I know they could never be more disinterested but I can't help it. Me, finally seeing Son Dongwoon personally? I hope this isn't a dream.
.....................
Dongwoon's POV
"Cheers!" we all said as we were celebrating the good news: tickets for our concert in the (country) were all sold out.
We all drank but I wasn't really in the mood to get drunk so I just watched them all drink til they dropped. When I saw that all of them lost their sober selves, I excused myself and went to the balcony. I needed some fresh air.
To think of it, this wasn't the first time we were going to have our concert there but it was again sold out. People there must really love us. I laughed.
"Dongwoon-ah, what are you thinking about?" Hara asked. She was also invited to the mini-party since, of course, she was Junhyung hyung's girlfriend.
"Nothing. We still have 3 months before our concert in the (country) yet tickets are already sold out. I am just overwhelmed with the love we keep receiving," I chuckled.
"Aw. Should we be jealous of how far BEAST has reached already in just two years?" she asked.
"That's not what I meant!" I denied.
"I know, I know. I was just joking anyway," she chuckled.
There was silence between the two of us. I wouldn't be usually bothered by it since we seldom talk when we're together but her actions bothered me. She kept on looking inside as if she was protecting something she wanted to hide.
"What's the matter, Hara?" I finally asked, breaking the tension.
"Dongwoon-ah, am I pretty?" she asked.
What is she trying to say? What should I say? "K-kurom! Having Junhyung hyung as your boyfriend is enough to answer that question!" I joked. Whew. I got off with that one easily.
"Why the hell is Junhyung oppa mentioned?!" she yelled.
"What's wrong with you? Are you drunk?" I asked, panicking but still trying to look gentle and calm.
"Ani, Dongwoon-ah. I'm not drunk!" she shouted, wobbling.
So she was drunk after all. "Oh. It's getting cold already. Let's go back," I said as I walked towards the door.
"Son Dongwoon, neo! Nan joha aniya?" she asked as tears fell on her face.
"Yah, Hara. You're pretty drunk. Let's go inside and I'll give you something to drink to sober you up. Your manager might scold us if he sees you like this," I said. But my feet were glued on the ground. I can't take a single step towards the door anymore. Damn.
"Answer me!" she yelled again.
"You want me to answer you? Keurae. Nan neol joha-" aniya.
Before I could finish my sentence, I just felt her lips on mine. Then we heard a glass shattering to pieces. I broke free and looked at the source of the sound. Oh no. "Hyung!"
"Don't you dare call me that, you traitor!" Junhyung hyung said and huffed away.
It would've been better if he punched me. Oh, no. That wouldn't be any better. It's not like I did something wrong. I looked at Hara. She wasn't a bit surprised. "I guess this had to happen sooner or later," she said nonchalantly.
"Mwo?" I asked in disbelief. And disgust.
"Son Dongwoon, neo ttaemune. Don't act like it's all my fault. If only you were sensitive enough, this should've been avoided. You should've felt from the start that it was you that I liked and-"
"Jakkanman. Mwo? Naega? Kurom, you were using hyu- Ugh. I didn't know you were like this. Before I forget you're a girl, ka," I said. I was already fuming but I kept it all in, keeping in mind that she's a girl.
She left without saying anything and I was thankful for that. I went to pick the pieces of the shattered glass. I wounded myself but I knew it was nothing. It was nothing compared to Junhyung hyung's pain. And this glass was nothing, too, compared to his shattered heart. I can't let anything between us change because of that two-faced girl.
......................
"Is something wrong between you and Junhyung?" Doojoon hyung asked. He and the others were oblivious of what happened last night. They were all in deep slumber, under the spell of alcohol.
"Nae. Hajiman, don't let me tell the whole story. It's too long and dramatic that it might qualify as a top-rating drama plot," I joked.
"Ahrasso. Just make sure to settle things before fans start noticing something. We don't want to lose fans. Not even one," he smiled, patted my shoulder and left.
This is what I like about Doojoon hyung. He was someone whom you could tell secrets to but he also respects your decision when you choose not to tell him.
"Dongwoon," I heard someone call.
"Hyung," I said. I know I should grab this opportunity but I just couldn't believe that Junhyung hyung would talk to me immediately after what happened last night. "P-please let me explain. I re-"
"Kwaenchana, Dongwoon. You don't need to explain. I knew it all. From the start," he said.
"Eh? Kurom.. Neo.. You allowed her to do it? Waeyo, hyung?"
He laughed sadly. "I just thought that one day, she'll be looking at me the same way she's looking at you now," he said.
"Hyung... Should I hug you now?" I said opening my arms.
He walked towards me slowly. And punched me in the gut. "You dare make fun of me?" he headlocked me and dragged me to the dining room. Doojoon hyung saw us and smiled. I winked at him. He gagged. We all laughed. Getting rejected by our first choice management companies isn't that bad after all, huh? I smiled.
....................
Your POV
A month has passed. 1 sleep to go and it's gonna be my birthday. And it will so far be the best one since I'll be seeing... Kyaaaaaa~! Would I even be able to sleep?
..................
"Your eyes are shining too brightly, ________," Mom said as she saw me look at the TV screen with love.
"As of 9 in the morning, Korean idol group BEAST has arrived for their concert here that will be held tomorrow night in at (concert venue). Lots of fans went here and waited for their-"
"Why did you change the channel? Can't you see, I'm watching?" I protested.
"Oh my. Since when did you become disrespectful?" Mom joked.
I just rolled my eyes and went to my room. I took my ticket from my cabinet and stared at it. It doesn't matter if I don't get to watch the news. At least I'll get to see you tomorrow... Kyaaaaaaa~!
....................
The night was growing deep and I still haven't slept yet. I don't even expect myself to sleep after all. But I can't go to the concert tomorrow looking restless with dark circles around my eyes, right? I need to sleep. I definitely need to sleep...
FAIL. It's now 6 in the morning and I couldn't even close my eyes for a minute. It can't be helped then. I need to find something that'll make me sleep.
I searched for something in our cabinet where food was stored. There's got to be something... There you are! Chamomile tea. This will definitely make me sleep. I smirked. I can never look ugly in front of him. Well, it's not like he'll see me, I know. But who knows? It's my birthday after all and birthday wishes don't get ignored, right?
......................
"_______, _________..."
"Don't wake her up. It's fine. She'll just eat on her own later."
Voices. I heard voices. I opened my eyes.
"So what made you decide not to go to the concert?" my sister asked.
"EEEEEEEHHHHH?! WHAT DO YOU ME- CRAAAAAP!" I looked at my phone. It was already 9 in the evening. The concert was going to start on... 7!!!
"WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY WAKE ME UP?! ON MY BIRTHDAY?!" I asked furiously.
"What are you talking about? We kept waking you up earlier but we always failed so we decided to just let you be," Mom replied.
This can't be happening! This certainly can't be happening! I took a bath and changed. The concert might still not be over.
"I'm leaving!" I said as I went out the door.
"Where do you think you're going?!" Dad asked as he followed me. "No matter how fast you go there, you still won't make it in time! What time is it already!" he continued to shout as I wasn't stopping from running.
"Sorry, Dad. Just think of this as your birthday gift for me!" I shouted back. How could the best day turn out to be the worst?
...................
"Sir, just allow me to get inside! Please!" I said as tears were starting to form. Can I at least get some confetti that was used in the concert? That, in this situation, could already make me happy...
"I'm really sorry, Ma'am but we can't. We are really sorry. The concert was over for an hour already."
I guess I can't have that either. I cried. Damn it! Why did I have to drink that tea?! Why did I force myself to sleep? Too scared to look ugly when he sees me? Tch. Now, I wasn't even able to see him! I cried harder.
"Uh, e-excuse me. Wh-why are you crying, Miss? D-did you, by any chance, miss the concert?"
................
Dongwoon's POV
"I never knew they would sing with us. If I know, they don't even understand the words of our songs!" Yoseob said.
"I know, right? That's why it's overwhelming," I said as I smiled.
"And the people here are nice, too. Now I don't wonder anymore why you liked living here," Kikwang hyung said.
I smiled. That's right. I really missed the times I lived here. But I still like Korea better. I chuckled
We were in the van opening the gifts the fans gave us during our concert. There were a lot. Luckily, they've already organized it in bags.
"This one's for Junhyung, then Doojoon. Hyunseung. Kikwang. Yoseob," Manager said. "Oh? Where's Dongwoon's?"
"What? They actually forgot uri maknae? Too bad." Doojoon hyung teased.
"Bring it out, Doojoon," Sajangnim said.
"It's not with me. I may like pulling pranks on our maknae but I'm not that kind of person," he answered.
I could sense he was telling the truth. "Maybe they did forget," I said glumly.
"Andwae. It was the first bag that they gave me," Sajangnim said.
"Kurom, eodi?" I asked. I eyed the five suspiciously.
"Junhyung hyung."
He shook his head.
"Yoseob!"
"Yah. You really look down on me."
"Kurom, Kikwang hyung? You must be mad at me for imitating you always," I said.
"I don't bear grudges to people," he said nonchalantly.
"Hyunseung hyung?"
"You know that I'm better than that."
"Ah! I left it there!" Sajangnim finally said.
"For the love of Pete. Where?" I asked.
"At the dressing room. It was too careless of me. Mianhae, Dongwoon-ah. But you keep receiving lots of gifts. It's okay not to get those back, machi?" he said.
"What are you talking about? Of course they're important! Let's drive back there and I'll get it myself."
"Ahrasso."
..........................
We stopped at the audience entrance since it was unnecessary to go farther and enter through the back gate. I got off the van and immediately went to the dressing room. It was really far that I started running. I finally reached that room and saw my gifts. Ah. As expected. I had the plentiest. Pwahaha~
Dongwoon-ah, you're taking too long. We'll just pass by a restaurant and order some food for our dinner. Just wait for us there. We'll text you when we're on our way back.
Sajangnim. He's always like this. Aish. I just walked back towards the exit since there was no need to rush anymore. I was already outside when I heard a girl's voice. They were speaking in their own language so I didn't understand. But I know that there's something happening. Since I'm a busybody, I have to check.
I knew it. Something wasn't right. The girl was crying. Why did she come this late? She must be... our fan. "Uh, e-excuse me. Wh-why are you crying, Miss? D-did you, by any chance, missed the concert?" Dang. I really need to work on my English.
The girl looked up. And stared at me. Oh. I forgot. I was actually Son Dongwoon. And this girl right here must be one of our fans. I shouldn't have acted rashly. But I can't help it! She was crying! All I could do was scratch my head. And of course, act cute. She was still staring at me. Wait, she couldn't be... one of those obsessed fans, right? Waaah! She might grab me! Or... stab me! Waaaaah! I was already starting to panic. Still, I must act cute. I am Son Dongwoon, the maknae. I smiled the prettiest smile I could. This will do, right?
She was still staring at me. Ugh. This is becoming pretty boring. I need to go. "You seem to be in a daze. So, I'll leave now. Hope you're okay," I said as I turned my back.
"T-today's... m-m-my.... b-bi-bir-birthday..." she stuttered.
I turned back at her and smiled. She must be a fan. And to think she came all the way here, she must deserve a greeting, right? I smiled even more. "Really? Happy birthday, then!" I greeted.
She stood up and walked towards me. Don't tell me that was a scheme?! Pabo, Son Dongwoon! She touched my forearm.
"WOOOOOOONIEEEEEEEE~!" she squealed loudly.
As expected. She's a fan after all. At least she didn't harrass me. I sighed. "Would you like to take a picture?" Did I just say that?
She stopped jumping. Her face darkened. "I... I don't have a camera with me," she said, with 'disappointment' flashing on her forehead like a neon sign.
.....................
Is this man... He is, right? I took out my phone to try to see if he really was the one in the picture I used as my wallpaper but I can't take my eyes off him. Not even for a sec. He might just vanish. I just stared at him. Yes, it was him. No doubt. This man standing before me, the man talking to me, was him. Son. Dong. Woon.
He scratched his head. There he goes again. Being cute and all. All I could really do was stare. And stare some more.
Until he spoke. "You seem to be in a daze. So, I'll leave now. Hope you're okay," he said as he turned his back. He's leaving now. But it's fine. I already saw him. That was all that I needed to make this birthday the best ever. Right. It's my birthday today.
"T-today's... m-m-my.... b-bi-bir-birthday..." I stuttered unconsciously. It's not like he would care. He might even think of it as a show. Sigh.
"Really? Happy birthday, then!" Did he just... greet me? I looked up to him and he was again flashing that irresistible smile. With things like these, how could I make myself believe that I am not dreaming? I decided to take chances. I stood up and walked towards him. There's only one way to prove everything's real. I touched his forearm. It didn't vanish. HE DIDN'T VANISH!
"WOOOOOOONIEEEEEEEE~!" I squealed loudly. I didn't care anymore if I looked stupid. I just needed to let it all out. AND SQUEEEAAAAAL!
"Would you like to take a picture?" he offered.
Of course, we sh... Camera. A camera is needed to take a picture. And unfortunately, I don't have one. Right now. "I... I don't have a camera with me." I said. WHY, OH WHY CAN'T MY BIRTHDAY BE PERFECT?!
KRIII~NG! A phone rang. I knew for sure it wasn't mine since it should be their song, Beautiful, that should be playing. It was his, then.
"Nae? Ah, ye. Kuro-" he stopped mid-sentence and looked at me. I felt shy. I never thought Dongwoon would ever get to know that someone like me do exist. "Sajangnim?" It was all I could extract from their conversation since they were speaking Korean. Damn. I knew I should've attended the Hangul classes faithfully. It would've been useful tonight. Tsk.
"Are you in a hurry to go home?" he asked after speaking with their manager.
"No, no. Of course not!" I denied. I'll deal with my Dad issues later.
"Well, I hope it's fine with you to keep me company while I'm waiting for my manager to come and pick me up," he requested as he looked at me with his puppyish eyes. "I hope it's not too much of a favor to ask."
"O-of c-c-course not!" I said. "It's actually you doing me a favor." Oops. Did I just say that? But it can't be helped!
He laughed. "You're quite funny, agassi." He said.
I blushed. That was a compliment, right? And my friends call me corny? Pfffft! Who cares. At least Dongwoon thinks I'm the opposite. Kyaaaa~!
"Agassi. I mean Miss, what's your name?" he asked.
Wait. Did he really ask what my name was? "Are you asking me my name?" What I just said was stupid, I know. But I just couldn't believe it. Once people exchange names, they're considered as friends already, right?
He laughed again. "I think I am asking that, Miss," he chuckled.
"______. My name's... ______," I said. I bet he's just being nice when in fact, my name doesn't really matter. It's not like we'll meet again. Sigh.
"It's nice," he said, and smiled.
Did he just say my name was nice? Oh. Cut the crap. He's just doing a fanservice, right? "What is nice?" I asked.
"This. This is actually the first time I spoke with a foreigner fan. Decently," he chuckled. "And it feels nice." Kyaaaa. How could he do such fanservice so well? Did they undergo training regarding this? "And your name, too."
"You're doing too much fanservice. You don't have to try so hard. I might just faint here," I joked.
"I'm not doing any fanservice. I'm... just being honest," he smiled at me with his shining eyes.
"I could really faint now, you know?" I teased.
"Your father's on your speed dial right?" he asked.
"Uh, yeah. Why?" I asked. What is he up to?
"Then you fainting wouldn't be a problem. My arms are strong. Strong enough to carry you home," he joked.
"Hey, hey. Stop it. I might take advantage," I joked back.
"That's why I won't stop. Because I know you wouldn't do that," he said. I tried to see if he was joking but his eyes tell me he wasn't. He was being sincere. How could he trust someone he just met right now?
"D-" I was cut short as I heard a bunch of boys shout.
"Saengil chukhae!"
Oh my goodness. It's them. All of them. Thank you, Lord. Bestest gift EVAR.
................
[NOTE: From this part onwards, let us disregard the language barriers and pretend that BEAST members speak very well in English as to avoid complication and bore. Komawo! =))]
We took a walk with nowhere to go in particular. We just allowed our feet to take us wherever it would please.
All of them were having fun and I could see how comfortable they are with each other just as they look in the television. They have a brotherly love towards each other which is just overflowing and I could genuinely feel it. I thought it was just part of their script in the variety shows they'd attend to. But I thought wrong. Everything was true and it just made me love them even more, to a deeper level than just being a plain fangirl to its most favorite idol boys in the whole wide world.
"You might trip," I heard him say.
"Excuse me?" It was only then that I realized I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't notice Doojoon, Junhyung, Kikwang, Hyunseung and Yoseob having fun bickering and hurting each other physically in a joking manner. And I, on the other hand, was lost in thoughts as the maknae kept me company. A company I was oblivious about until now.
"You seem to be thinking about something. Something happened?" Dongwoon asked. Was he actually concerned? Or just trying to start a conversation with me? My heart would love it if it was the first.
"Oh no. Not at all. It's just that everything now, seems unreal. Like I never ever thought this would ever happen in reality. I mean, I imagined this happening lots of times, as all fangirls would. But this as a part of reality? It's just so hard to believe," I said. Words just flowed out of my mouth without me being able to filter them. I was with Woonie. My Woonie. He was the one person I wished I could be with even just for 5 seconds and it was enough to make me feel giddy. But here I was, spending almost an hour with him and his groupmates and yet feeling so comfortable. It's like I've known him for so long now. Well, technically, I did, but not this close. Not this intimate.
"You're way too serious now unlike how you were an hour ago," he said.
"Really? I'm sorry," I apologized. Does he think I'm a bore now? Too bad.
He laughed. "That's not what I meant," he said.
Silence prevailed. I decided to break it. I can't let this pass moment with me being a silent. I could do it some other time. Not now. "It's good you have this time to loosen up and get away from your schedule."
"Absolutely. These days, we all have been so busy but this was what we asked for so we really can't afford to complain. But we get tired, too, actually. All those sleepless nights. I wonder how we could still be alive right now," he chuckled.
"If you had an interview on National TV, I bet you'd actually say it's because of us, B2UTies, that you could surpass all the challenges you're facing and will ever face in the future," I joked.
"Would've that made you happier?" he asked.
"I think so," I chuckled.
"Then ask me again," he laughed.
We kept talking comfortably to each other, but laughing wholeheartedly most of the time. We looked at the sea. We were finally on the bay. I don't know how far we have walked already. My legs don't hurt but I know it's already been like more of a kilometer or more. We stopped by there and stared at the sea calmly. But one thing in the heavens caught my attention. It was a shooting star.
"Hey, Dongwoon. Look, a shooting star!" I told him.
"Hey, hey. Why so selfish? If I wasn't a natural eavesdropper, we would have never known," Doojoon complained.
"Leave them alone," Yoseob said as he pulled Doojoon back to their group.
I was laughing when I saw Dongwoon tying a knot with his handkerchief. He looked at me, smiled and gave it to me. "Here you go, make a wish."
"What is this for?" I asked.
"In our country, wishing on a shooting star isn't simple as just wishing. You need first to tie a knot on a piece of cloth and wish. So here you go," he explained.
I could've taken it that easily but I knew I could do better. "No, you use that. I think this night was more than enough as an answer to the wish I kept on asking for each night, with a shooting star or none."
"We have the same fate, then. This night, too, is the same for me."
"What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled.
He just smiled. "Let's make a new wish then," he said as he offered to share the handkerchief with him.
"I couldn't think of a better idea," we laughed softly.
I wish for this night to never end.. But just as I made that wish, everything was nearing its end. Doojoon's phone rang.
"Wae, hyung?" There they went again, speaking their native language but with the looks of it, I think their faces meant one thing: They now need to go home. We all need to go home and go back to our own realities. Just when I was thinking of that, my own phone rang. It was a bit embarassing for me but amusing for the members. Their song was my ring tone. I hurriedly picked it up as I felt my face burn.
"Mom?" We talked for just seconds as to not waste the remaining time I had. I told her I'll just call her when I have ridden a bus. She easily agreed, thank goodness.
"We need to go," Dongwoon said. His voice was unusually silent. Unusually because it was different to the voice he had the whole time.
"Me, too," I said, showing him my phone. He understood what I meant.
"Doojoon hyung!" he called. I thought it was the end of that night. I wasn't complaining but... "We could drop her by her house, right?" I stopped whatever it was I was thinking. Yes, I can't complain. How could I? "Where do you live?"
"Oh. It's more than an hour drive from here. You need not to bother," I said. I couldn't bother them any further.
"So how did you get here? Bus?" he asked.
"Yep," I answered.
"Then we'll just give you a ride and drop you there," he offered.
"Are you sure it's okay? You might already be tired," I worried.
"I wouldn't bother offer if we were," he smiled and their van appeared in front of us.
He opened the door for me and I shyly got in. He sat beside me. The whole ride was so silent but I could understand why. After the whole walk, I believe all of them were all a flat tire. I felt guilty. The van stopped. The looked at me and I absolutely know what it meant.
"I guess this is me," I said. Only then did I realize that all of them were already fast asleep. Except for Dongwoon. I felt flattered and happy.
He opened the door and got down. I thought he would go back as soon as I got down. But he didn't. "Let me walk you to that lucky bus you're going to ride," he offered again.
"You sure? I am sure you're already tired. Go back already so you could rest."
"Not until I see you ride your bus," he said.
"Thank you," was all I could say.
We walked silently toward the bus that would bring me home.
"So I guess this is goodbye," I said as we stopped in front of the bus' door.
"What? You breaking up with me?" he laughed.
"Hell no!" I said. We both laughed loudly.
"Thank you again," I said, finally.
"No. Thank you," he said. "What's with that face?" he asked.
It was only then that I realized I was already frowning. "Oh. Nothing," I said.
"Don't worry, we'll meet again," he said as he smiled his beautiful smile. Will we?
"When and where?" I chuckled.
"Here, there, in each others' dreams, anywhere. Later, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week, anytime. Just like now."
I could feel tears welling up. Did this really have to end?
"Give me your handphone," he said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Just give it to me."
I complied and took it out of my pocket.
"Since I can't give you my number, I could only do this much." He stood beside me, wrapped his arms around my shoulders. And took a picture of us. He handed me back my phone and took out his. He did the same gesture.
He clicked the shutter.
The flash 'flashed' too brightly for me eyes causing me to close my eyes...
And when I opened them...
I was in my bed. And when I checked the day and time, it was Saturday, 4:58 AM.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
CN Blue in Niigata
This is actually the first time I've watched a video of CN Blue performing live and I was smiling for 13 minutes. I love Yong Hwa.And I noticed his voice sounds different compared to those recorded ones. Just sayin. I miss Min Hyuk, too! Enjoy! :)
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Wish Upon A Star
Slash the 'Star'.
Remember episode 9's wish scene? Kyu Won's wish is no longer a secret. What was intended by Kyu Won to be a secret was heard by my left brain. I wrote it down below. After reading it, you might realize you really don't need stars just to make wishes come true and just rush into the darkest room you can find and wish with a very earnest heart.
1. I want the boy I like to tell me he likes me, too. Maybe not the exact words. As long as it wouldn't cause me to misunderstand what he really is trying to say.
2. I want to see him outside my house, waiting for me and offer to carry my bag. I want to walk with him to an ice cream store. While walking, I want him to make sure our hands won't hurt. I want us to eat ice cream while staring at each other. And yes, I want 3 mean girls to see us and die in jealousy. I'd text my bestfriend not to pass by the ice cream store.
3. I want to have an instrumental duet with him in a park. That would give me the chance to stare at his serene face. Then I want to share earbuds with him and have our souls connected through music.
4. I want him to play his guitar wildly whenever I won't give him my attention.
5. I want to see him outside my house the next morning, smiling like crazy and patting a frog cushion he has attached to the passenger's seat of his bike so it would be comfortable for me to sit on it. Then he'd ask me to hold on tight. That'll leave me with no choice but to wrap my arms around his waist tightly and rest my head on his back.
6. I want him to hold my hand in school and show the world how proud he is to have me as his girl.
7. I want him to teach me how to play the guitar and he'd notice my tightly tied hair. I'll tell him I'm scared that other girls might pull my hair then he'd assure me nothing will happen since he's on my side. I'll text my bestfriend to get lost first then he'd lean to... I can't even finish the sentence. You know what I want to happen, right?
7. When I'm feeling nervous about something I should do, I want him to hold my face in both of his hands and pinch my cheeks while telling me his sweet encouragement.
8. I want to hear from my friends how he approached the girls that bully me like a real man and stops them from bothering me by telling it to them 'just once'.
9. I want him to defend me from his bratty dongsaeng and text me to meet him on the bar he's working at and smile at me when he sees me arriving. Then he'd switch from a rock song to an acoustic one and just look at me lovingly while doing so. Then he'd stop and signal me to go near him. And as if holding my hand wasn't enough to tell the whole world I'm his girl and he's my boy, he'd kiss me right then and there while the witnesses could do nothing but stare in awe with mouths agape.
10. I want to go home with him after that. I want him to tell me to go inside first just so I won't meet any danger although there's no threat other than my clumsiness. When I turn my back on him, I want him to call my name again and come near me. When he's near enough, I want him to sweetly kiss me on my forehead that would lead me running inside my house.
11. When I arrive home, while I am all giddy after what just happened, I want to receive a call from him, telling me his mother gave him exhibit tickets and ask me to go with him and use it just so it won't be a waste.
12. The next day, I wish I won't forget to remove the price tag on my newly-bought clothes I will be using for our date and not make it obvious to him that I bought those clothes for that special day. And when we already are inside, I just want to have fun with him.
13. After our date, I want to walk with him to school and have him see me walk my way to my classroom even if I tell him to leave first.
14. With all that happened between us, I want to remember that he does have flaws since he's just human and kinda try to go beyond his boundaries as my boyfriend and stop me from doing something I love not because he just doesn't want me to [do it] but to protect me from all the hurt I might get if things worsen.
15. After fighting, I want to see him and tell me to just continue doing what I love as long as it makes me happy. Then I'd remind him I'm 3 months older than him so he shouldn't treat me as his dongsaeng. I want to see him smile adorably like he always does.
16. When something bad happens, I want him to take me away to spare me from hurting. While doing so, I want to laugh my heart out with him, the guy whom my heart beats for. And before I forget, I want him to give me weird but cute sunglasses with TV-shaped lens. Pyoooo-pyoooo.
17. When I finally get to know the problem, I don't really want him to give me an ultimatum but if it's the only way he could stop me from being hurt at that moment, then I'd go with it and still choose him since I know the ultimatum he just gave isn't really an ultimatum in the real sense of the word.
18. After choosing him, I want him to tell me how important I am more than any other things that's why he could give up everything even if he's worked hard for it if my happiness is on the line.
19. I want him to go on a date with me. I want him to buy the same-but-not-really-the-same teddy bear cellphone accessory as mine.
20. I want him to bring me home again even if he still has other things to do and wish me good night. I want him to smile for me and give me strength during one of the lowest points of my life.
21. I want him to call me again and tell me to sleep well. Knowing I have such a guy like him on my side, I'd sleep with a smile on my face and leave all the chaos for tomorrow.
22. When I brood by myself when I finally face the problems that he tried to protect me from, I want him to look for me diligently. When he can't find me, I want him to PA serenade me and tell me through his song that no matter how much the world hurts me, I still have him and that would be enough to paint a smile on my face. When we finally meet, I want him to hug me and be my crying shoulder whenever I'd feel my tears bursting.
23. I want him to support me and be by my side when my Grandpa hears the problem I got involved into. I want him to protect me from my own Grandpa. Then he'll succeed and he'll melt my heart once again with his priceless smile.
24. I want him to find something that will be a proof that we really were destined to be together. When he already finds it, I wanna tell him in his face that it was really him who chased me first. I want him to admit it sheepishly.
25. I want him to worry about me and try looking for me determinedly when he finds out that our group are about to go on a ghost-hunt since he knows how much of a scaredy-cat I am.
26. When he already finds me, I want him to show in front of me that he already has thrown the past behind him and it's me he loves and wants to be with now and maybe forever.
27. I want to wish with him once again under the stars. That whatever we're doing right now, be succesful. I want him to wish the same wish I have and suddenly hug me on the back. I would want us to stay like that for like, forever, if only humans didn't need to move.
28. I want him to care for my feelings and try doing things that would give me the excuse and cry my heart out. But him being there is enough so doing things like watching a sad movie and riding a rollercoaster isn't really necessary.
29. I want him to suddenly interrupt me and my Grandpa's dinner and tell me his brilliant plan about that something I really love doing. A plan that would allow me to continue doing it and continue being happy.
30. I want to walk our way home with him again and sit on a nearby bench so he could massage my legs after working so hard. Of course, after all that he has done for me, though it's not enough, I want to kiss him on his forehead as a reward. As I've said it's not enough but I'm so shy so that's all I could do.
31. When a depressing moment comes again but I couldn't show it to anyone, I want him to just hug me and remind that he is my crying shoulder since he's the only one who knows I'm not okay though I try my hardest to put on a strong front and tell the world, "Kwaenchana."
32. Whenever I'd doubt my own capabilities, I want him to be there at my side and tell me how cool I am and let me realize I'm not just any other girl out there. After all, aside from being cool and all, I am the girl he loves.
33. When the next day is a big day, I want him to call me and find out that I am nowhere near sleepiness. Then, I want him to sing me my comfort song and that'll lead me to a sleep full of sweet dreams.
34. I want him to come to me whenever he's nervous and encourage him and make him feel positive like he always does to me.
35. And when I do something ridiculously kind, if he's doing something important that wouldn't give him the chance to come to me that instant, hug and give me comfort, I just want him to worry about me and how I feel at that moment and let me know he's there. I just have to wait for him.
36. I want him to ask me out for us to eat ice cream when none of the things I'm trying to do is going right.
37. I want him to always be on my side no matter what I decide. But nevertheless, I want him too indirectly tell me which side he really wants us to be on.
38. I want him to give me a bicycle ride even when I'm wearing a hanbok. It might look ridiculous and I might get heavier than usual but who cares. When we're together, he becomes superman and I, supergirl.
39. I want us to be together in the end no matter how many years we've spent apart. No matter what the other is going through, I want us to be there for each other. We can make up for and get over shattered dreams but it is hard to mend broken hearts especially if each piece still has the other's name written on all of it.
40. I want him to tell me he loves me though with all that he did (if all previous wishes come true), it would really be impossible to believe him if he told me he could someday learn to forget me. But of course, him really saying those words is a different story. Moreso, those words sound better in our language.
41. For heaven not to be burdened that much listing all of those, I'll just summarize them. I just want Lee Shin... if he's not too much to ask. Well, if he is, I wouldn't mind my bestfriend interrupting at times or me getting embarassed by forgetting to remove the price tag of the shirt I just bought. Or... This one's hard but... We can be apart for a year. I repeat. Just a year! There. It's already fair enough. Could I have him now?
See? Told ya. Lol. Tonight, I really am going to make a wish. Stars be damned.
P.S: If you are trying to look for the part where Lee Shin had his wrist broken and kept it to Kyu Won for a long time, forget about it. It's something NOBODY would ever wish for. Hee. Heartstrings, geuriwoseo. :')
Remember episode 9's wish scene? Kyu Won's wish is no longer a secret. What was intended by Kyu Won to be a secret was heard by my left brain. I wrote it down below. After reading it, you might realize you really don't need stars just to make wishes come true and just rush into the darkest room you can find and wish with a very earnest heart.
1. I want the boy I like to tell me he likes me, too. Maybe not the exact words. As long as it wouldn't cause me to misunderstand what he really is trying to say.
2. I want to see him outside my house, waiting for me and offer to carry my bag. I want to walk with him to an ice cream store. While walking, I want him to make sure our hands won't hurt. I want us to eat ice cream while staring at each other. And yes, I want 3 mean girls to see us and die in jealousy. I'd text my bestfriend not to pass by the ice cream store.
3. I want to have an instrumental duet with him in a park. That would give me the chance to stare at his serene face. Then I want to share earbuds with him and have our souls connected through music.
4. I want him to play his guitar wildly whenever I won't give him my attention.
5. I want to see him outside my house the next morning, smiling like crazy and patting a frog cushion he has attached to the passenger's seat of his bike so it would be comfortable for me to sit on it. Then he'd ask me to hold on tight. That'll leave me with no choice but to wrap my arms around his waist tightly and rest my head on his back.
6. I want him to hold my hand in school and show the world how proud he is to have me as his girl.
7. I want him to teach me how to play the guitar and he'd notice my tightly tied hair. I'll tell him I'm scared that other girls might pull my hair then he'd assure me nothing will happen since he's on my side. I'll text my bestfriend to get lost first then he'd lean to... I can't even finish the sentence. You know what I want to happen, right?
7. When I'm feeling nervous about something I should do, I want him to hold my face in both of his hands and pinch my cheeks while telling me his sweet encouragement.
8. I want to hear from my friends how he approached the girls that bully me like a real man and stops them from bothering me by telling it to them 'just once'.
9. I want him to defend me from his bratty dongsaeng and text me to meet him on the bar he's working at and smile at me when he sees me arriving. Then he'd switch from a rock song to an acoustic one and just look at me lovingly while doing so. Then he'd stop and signal me to go near him. And as if holding my hand wasn't enough to tell the whole world I'm his girl and he's my boy, he'd kiss me right then and there while the witnesses could do nothing but stare in awe with mouths agape.
10. I want to go home with him after that. I want him to tell me to go inside first just so I won't meet any danger although there's no threat other than my clumsiness. When I turn my back on him, I want him to call my name again and come near me. When he's near enough, I want him to sweetly kiss me on my forehead that would lead me running inside my house.
11. When I arrive home, while I am all giddy after what just happened, I want to receive a call from him, telling me his mother gave him exhibit tickets and ask me to go with him and use it just so it won't be a waste.
12. The next day, I wish I won't forget to remove the price tag on my newly-bought clothes I will be using for our date and not make it obvious to him that I bought those clothes for that special day. And when we already are inside, I just want to have fun with him.
13. After our date, I want to walk with him to school and have him see me walk my way to my classroom even if I tell him to leave first.
14. With all that happened between us, I want to remember that he does have flaws since he's just human and kinda try to go beyond his boundaries as my boyfriend and stop me from doing something I love not because he just doesn't want me to [do it] but to protect me from all the hurt I might get if things worsen.
15. After fighting, I want to see him and tell me to just continue doing what I love as long as it makes me happy. Then I'd remind him I'm 3 months older than him so he shouldn't treat me as his dongsaeng. I want to see him smile adorably like he always does.
16. When something bad happens, I want him to take me away to spare me from hurting. While doing so, I want to laugh my heart out with him, the guy whom my heart beats for. And before I forget, I want him to give me weird but cute sunglasses with TV-shaped lens. Pyoooo-pyoooo.
17. When I finally get to know the problem, I don't really want him to give me an ultimatum but if it's the only way he could stop me from being hurt at that moment, then I'd go with it and still choose him since I know the ultimatum he just gave isn't really an ultimatum in the real sense of the word.
18. After choosing him, I want him to tell me how important I am more than any other things that's why he could give up everything even if he's worked hard for it if my happiness is on the line.
19. I want him to go on a date with me. I want him to buy the same-but-not-really-the-same teddy bear cellphone accessory as mine.
20. I want him to bring me home again even if he still has other things to do and wish me good night. I want him to smile for me and give me strength during one of the lowest points of my life.
21. I want him to call me again and tell me to sleep well. Knowing I have such a guy like him on my side, I'd sleep with a smile on my face and leave all the chaos for tomorrow.
22. When I brood by myself when I finally face the problems that he tried to protect me from, I want him to look for me diligently. When he can't find me, I want him to PA serenade me and tell me through his song that no matter how much the world hurts me, I still have him and that would be enough to paint a smile on my face. When we finally meet, I want him to hug me and be my crying shoulder whenever I'd feel my tears bursting.
23. I want him to support me and be by my side when my Grandpa hears the problem I got involved into. I want him to protect me from my own Grandpa. Then he'll succeed and he'll melt my heart once again with his priceless smile.
24. I want him to find something that will be a proof that we really were destined to be together. When he already finds it, I wanna tell him in his face that it was really him who chased me first. I want him to admit it sheepishly.
25. I want him to worry about me and try looking for me determinedly when he finds out that our group are about to go on a ghost-hunt since he knows how much of a scaredy-cat I am.
26. When he already finds me, I want him to show in front of me that he already has thrown the past behind him and it's me he loves and wants to be with now and maybe forever.
27. I want to wish with him once again under the stars. That whatever we're doing right now, be succesful. I want him to wish the same wish I have and suddenly hug me on the back. I would want us to stay like that for like, forever, if only humans didn't need to move.
28. I want him to care for my feelings and try doing things that would give me the excuse and cry my heart out. But him being there is enough so doing things like watching a sad movie and riding a rollercoaster isn't really necessary.
29. I want him to suddenly interrupt me and my Grandpa's dinner and tell me his brilliant plan about that something I really love doing. A plan that would allow me to continue doing it and continue being happy.
30. I want to walk our way home with him again and sit on a nearby bench so he could massage my legs after working so hard. Of course, after all that he has done for me, though it's not enough, I want to kiss him on his forehead as a reward. As I've said it's not enough but I'm so shy so that's all I could do.
31. When a depressing moment comes again but I couldn't show it to anyone, I want him to just hug me and remind that he is my crying shoulder since he's the only one who knows I'm not okay though I try my hardest to put on a strong front and tell the world, "Kwaenchana."
32. Whenever I'd doubt my own capabilities, I want him to be there at my side and tell me how cool I am and let me realize I'm not just any other girl out there. After all, aside from being cool and all, I am the girl he loves.
33. When the next day is a big day, I want him to call me and find out that I am nowhere near sleepiness. Then, I want him to sing me my comfort song and that'll lead me to a sleep full of sweet dreams.
34. I want him to come to me whenever he's nervous and encourage him and make him feel positive like he always does to me.
35. And when I do something ridiculously kind, if he's doing something important that wouldn't give him the chance to come to me that instant, hug and give me comfort, I just want him to worry about me and how I feel at that moment and let me know he's there. I just have to wait for him.
36. I want him to ask me out for us to eat ice cream when none of the things I'm trying to do is going right.
37. I want him to always be on my side no matter what I decide. But nevertheless, I want him too indirectly tell me which side he really wants us to be on.
38. I want him to give me a bicycle ride even when I'm wearing a hanbok. It might look ridiculous and I might get heavier than usual but who cares. When we're together, he becomes superman and I, supergirl.
39. I want us to be together in the end no matter how many years we've spent apart. No matter what the other is going through, I want us to be there for each other. We can make up for and get over shattered dreams but it is hard to mend broken hearts especially if each piece still has the other's name written on all of it.
40. I want him to tell me he loves me though with all that he did (if all previous wishes come true), it would really be impossible to believe him if he told me he could someday learn to forget me. But of course, him really saying those words is a different story. Moreso, those words sound better in our language.
41. For heaven not to be burdened that much listing all of those, I'll just summarize them. I just want Lee Shin... if he's not too much to ask. Well, if he is, I wouldn't mind my bestfriend interrupting at times or me getting embarassed by forgetting to remove the price tag of the shirt I just bought. Or... This one's hard but... We can be apart for a year. I repeat. Just a year! There. It's already fair enough. Could I have him now?
See? Told ya. Lol. Tonight, I really am going to make a wish. Stars be damned.
P.S: If you are trying to look for the part where Lee Shin had his wrist broken and kept it to Kyu Won for a long time, forget about it. It's something NOBODY would ever wish for. Hee. Heartstrings, geuriwoseo. :')
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Sentimental Moment
Korean drama, for others, is simply just something you watch, react at and the like. You watch it for the sake of watching. But not me.
Those who know me, even those who don't know me very well, know that I am a super duper Kdrama lover. The people I have met and knew this always asked the questions, What have you watched already?, Have you watched this drama?, and the like. But no one has ever asked me why.
For others, especially those who dislike Kdramas, it may just seem as simply addiction, a reason to spazz, or pastime that became a routine. Well, it's more than that.
Kdramas, cheesy as it may sound, complete me as a person. I am alone most of the time (since I live alone) and I don't even have a television in the room I am renting. I don't need to tell you how lonely it can be, right? But the feelings I don't get the chance of expressing or feeling in real life, I can feel it through dramas. Because of these, I don't go insane or schizophrenic. I also see myself becoming a better person. Why? Well, we all know Kdrama antagonists go to extremes to get what they want. Kdramas open my eyes to all possible evil and it affects me, in the positive way. Of course, you need to be an intelligent viewer so as to not be like the antagonists but become one of real world's protagonists. In simpler terms, with my eyes opened by these dramas to all the evil in the real world, it makes me despise these evil ones. And of course, when you despise someone, you never ever want to be like them. And also, in dramas, you always see the extras who do nothing but react to changes or events and yet do nothing, or in most Kdramas, extras always listen and believe in all lies or schemes orchestrated by antagonists. This makes me uncontented to being just someone who reacts or just being this world's extra. I want to be the protagonist of my own story and not be the antagonist in others' (although sometimes, it cannot be helped that others see you as one). In order to be a protagonist worthy of a happily ever after, it is necessary to step up and do the right things. Yes, it is hard to live by this will alone but because I have proven that all protagonists live blisfully after experiencing all hardships thrown at them, my will becomes strong as ever. And also, I hate it when in a fantasy show, extras die easily. I don't want that.
All of the dramas I watch have romance. Why, you ask? Well, as I have said earlier, Kdramas complete me. It fills the empty spots in my life, which is obviously love life. I may have sounded sad, or worse, a loser but I'm not any of those. I am happy, in fact. Actually, I made the mistake of entering a relationship, a very complicated one, as early as 13 years old. Yes, it was a mistake and yes, it was stupid. Not that I got my heart broken or so but I just didn't like it. From that time on, I promised myself I'd never get involved in a relationship until I finish my studies. And now, I'm 17 years old and I haven't broken that promise yet. But of course, as a girl, I would always look for love. Luckily, I found Kdramas. I actually found out that the love I was looking for was not being in love myself. I just love the feeling of being in love and Kdramas satisfy that part. I am more than satisfied, actually, when I watch heroes and their heroines go all cavity-causing sweet and feel all melancholic everytime they're apart. Lots of you may not understand how I feel, though. :D Well, it's just that I love watching people fall or be in love more than falling or being in love myself. It makes me fulfill my promise and spares me from all the heartaches. LOL. Although of course, my heart breaks too if the main couple undergoes the I-love-you-but-we-can't-be-together-for-this-moment-coz-that's-a-mandatory-in-Kdramas part. But those heartaches are of course temporary because we all know they'll be together in the end, except for 49 Days. Boohoo.
One last thing, when I watch a Kdrama, I always, always empathize with the heroine since of course, I am a girl. Heartstrings is an exception though since I feel both Shin and Kyu Won in me. Hihi. What I'm trying to say is that watching a Kdrama involves putting myself into each of the character's shoes, for me, that is. Because it's the only way we'll get to understand them or at least try to. And when I remove their shoes out of my feet, the feeling doesn't end there. They actually become 3-dimensional characters. Rather than just seeing them as simply characters, I see them as people I know in real life. Every watching time, I feel like I'm talking to them and they're just narrating their stories after a week that we haven't met. I see them as friends and not merely drama characters. This is actually the reason why I find it hard to let go of a drama when it is bound to end. I love watching the story and seeing the progress but I hate seeing it end. It's like I'll be forever away from my bestest friends and I will never really get to see or hear from them again. All I can do is reminisce the story they have told me and get from it whatever that I can. I actually love creating fanfictions in my mind. It puts me to sleep with a smile. :D
(I have written this last August 6, when only the 11 episodes of Heartstrings have been aired so I pretty much talked about the conflicts that were already solved in episodes 12 and 13.)
Why have I become so sentimental? Well, it's just that Heartstrings is near its end. And the thought of it makes me depressed especially now that it's getting so well and I can already feel it's near-the-end climax brooding. I don't really care about the additional conflict that will crop up regarding the musical because I know all of it are just fruits of shallow lies made by petty people and all of it will be solved by someone telling the truth, right, Joon Hee? What I am worried about is Shin and Kyu Won. They really adooooraaable and cuuuuute and I'm glad the drama gave 2 entire episodes for us to see that cuteness but I am pretty uncertain if the both of them would face the following conflicts as one or they have to be not together. It's not like Shin's ever going to leave Kyu Won but Kyu Won, sandwiched between people's ego fight, is going to have a hard time thinking of both relationship maintenance and conflict-dealing. But it would be better to have a Lee Shin holding your hand all the way, no? Just sayin. In case Kyu Won would read this. Hahahaha!
This paragraph is now off-topic. But who cares, anyway? Lol. Initially, I thought the last scene of Heartstrings' episode 11 (Shin grab-hugs Kyu Won begging her not to go to school as to avoid from her getting hurt) was weak but now that I think of it, it actually is one of the most hanging episode-ender of Heartstrings. Why? Let me first recap that scene. Kyu Won finally got in touch with Bo Woon (since Shin took her away from school and took her cellphone too so she won't get to know the scandal that she already have) and heard that Seok Hyun already quit being the director. Kyu Won couldn't of course let Seok Hyun take all the blame himself and wants to go to school immediately to try to clear things up. Shin, knowing this is impossible, stops her. Kyu Won won't stop so Shin uses the if-you-leave-then-we're-over tactic but it didn't work (you could've just given her a ride and maintained the supportive boyfriend image, y'know, though I do understand why you're trying so hard not to let her go). So he grab-hugged her and said with all sincerity that it really really broke my heart, "Please... Don't go." Then, in comes the credits. Now, here's why I think it is such a cliff-hanger. I actually am very uncertain on what Kyu Won's reaction and next action would be. Would she listen to him? Or would she push him away angrily? Or would she push him away just enough as not to hurt Shin and let him feel she disregards him, but still go saving the director? Or what? It's probable that it's among the 3 choices. My heart just breaks because of the fact that either of the three would break both hearts plus mine. The first, though mild, would break Kyu Won's heart having to face all the petty people's wrath and Shin would hurt having to see Kyu Won endure all of these. The second is of course obvious but I don't feel the need of it happening since it's not like Shin was a part of the scheming or something, unless... Kyu Won wants to protect Shin, too. And the third, would of course hurt them both, having to part ways just when everything was already perfect. GAH. This is hard! What makes everything harder for me is that my prelims are already next week which makes preview-watch and recap-read restraining necessary. GAH. Why, oh, why? Booooooohoooooooo.
Comment. What I like most about the Kyu Won-Shin couple is that we are free from all the pridey way of showing love like "I'll just hold your hand because I can't see, nothing more." Not that it's not cute or so but I just find the direct showing of Shin of his love for Kyu Won, like putting a frog cushion on the passenger seat of his bike so Kyu Won could sit comfortably and they could go to school together, feeding her, admitting that he's damn worried or such things, so refreshing. I mean, how many dramas have we watched that had this type of puppyish hero? I actually have fallen in love with Shin. I'd learn playing gayageum, audition for our school's musical, cut my hair short and dye it brown, wear such long skirts, and become a real life Kyu Won if that's the only way I could meet a real life Shin. HAHA!
And also, another off-topic but this one's short. I am glad that Yong Hwa's acting isn't an issue now which means people have become contented with his acting and as we see, he has become good already. He's not excellent yet, of course, but at least his awkward acting that always made me cringe is now gone with the wind. In fact, I'd love to see him again in another drama. And I wouldn't mind if it's with Shin Hye again. I really won't, Korea. Lol.
5 or 4 episodes left already. Though it makes me feel sad, and my heart heavy, I am so glad I got to watch this drama. So sad, only little of the Koreans got to appreciate such a good drama. I am positive that this will gain much much much love from other countries where this has already been sold even prior to its premiere. And also, would it hurt if I wished for CN Blue to include Philippines as one of the lucky CN Blue concert places? Or Park Shin Hye to have a photoshoot here just like Song Joong Ki? Santa, if you're reading this, I'd be good girl. Promise.
Those who know me, even those who don't know me very well, know that I am a super duper Kdrama lover. The people I have met and knew this always asked the questions, What have you watched already?, Have you watched this drama?, and the like. But no one has ever asked me why.
For others, especially those who dislike Kdramas, it may just seem as simply addiction, a reason to spazz, or pastime that became a routine. Well, it's more than that.
Kdramas, cheesy as it may sound, complete me as a person. I am alone most of the time (since I live alone) and I don't even have a television in the room I am renting. I don't need to tell you how lonely it can be, right? But the feelings I don't get the chance of expressing or feeling in real life, I can feel it through dramas. Because of these, I don't go insane or schizophrenic. I also see myself becoming a better person. Why? Well, we all know Kdrama antagonists go to extremes to get what they want. Kdramas open my eyes to all possible evil and it affects me, in the positive way. Of course, you need to be an intelligent viewer so as to not be like the antagonists but become one of real world's protagonists. In simpler terms, with my eyes opened by these dramas to all the evil in the real world, it makes me despise these evil ones. And of course, when you despise someone, you never ever want to be like them. And also, in dramas, you always see the extras who do nothing but react to changes or events and yet do nothing, or in most Kdramas, extras always listen and believe in all lies or schemes orchestrated by antagonists. This makes me uncontented to being just someone who reacts or just being this world's extra. I want to be the protagonist of my own story and not be the antagonist in others' (although sometimes, it cannot be helped that others see you as one). In order to be a protagonist worthy of a happily ever after, it is necessary to step up and do the right things. Yes, it is hard to live by this will alone but because I have proven that all protagonists live blisfully after experiencing all hardships thrown at them, my will becomes strong as ever. And also, I hate it when in a fantasy show, extras die easily. I don't want that.
All of the dramas I watch have romance. Why, you ask? Well, as I have said earlier, Kdramas complete me. It fills the empty spots in my life, which is obviously love life. I may have sounded sad, or worse, a loser but I'm not any of those. I am happy, in fact. Actually, I made the mistake of entering a relationship, a very complicated one, as early as 13 years old. Yes, it was a mistake and yes, it was stupid. Not that I got my heart broken or so but I just didn't like it. From that time on, I promised myself I'd never get involved in a relationship until I finish my studies. And now, I'm 17 years old and I haven't broken that promise yet. But of course, as a girl, I would always look for love. Luckily, I found Kdramas. I actually found out that the love I was looking for was not being in love myself. I just love the feeling of being in love and Kdramas satisfy that part. I am more than satisfied, actually, when I watch heroes and their heroines go all cavity-causing sweet and feel all melancholic everytime they're apart. Lots of you may not understand how I feel, though. :D Well, it's just that I love watching people fall or be in love more than falling or being in love myself. It makes me fulfill my promise and spares me from all the heartaches. LOL. Although of course, my heart breaks too if the main couple undergoes the I-love-you-but-we-can't-be-together-for-this-moment-coz-that's-a-mandatory-in-Kdramas part. But those heartaches are of course temporary because we all know they'll be together in the end, except for 49 Days. Boohoo.
One last thing, when I watch a Kdrama, I always, always empathize with the heroine since of course, I am a girl. Heartstrings is an exception though since I feel both Shin and Kyu Won in me. Hihi. What I'm trying to say is that watching a Kdrama involves putting myself into each of the character's shoes, for me, that is. Because it's the only way we'll get to understand them or at least try to. And when I remove their shoes out of my feet, the feeling doesn't end there. They actually become 3-dimensional characters. Rather than just seeing them as simply characters, I see them as people I know in real life. Every watching time, I feel like I'm talking to them and they're just narrating their stories after a week that we haven't met. I see them as friends and not merely drama characters. This is actually the reason why I find it hard to let go of a drama when it is bound to end. I love watching the story and seeing the progress but I hate seeing it end. It's like I'll be forever away from my bestest friends and I will never really get to see or hear from them again. All I can do is reminisce the story they have told me and get from it whatever that I can. I actually love creating fanfictions in my mind. It puts me to sleep with a smile. :D
(I have written this last August 6, when only the 11 episodes of Heartstrings have been aired so I pretty much talked about the conflicts that were already solved in episodes 12 and 13.)
Why have I become so sentimental? Well, it's just that Heartstrings is near its end. And the thought of it makes me depressed especially now that it's getting so well and I can already feel it's near-the-end climax brooding. I don't really care about the additional conflict that will crop up regarding the musical because I know all of it are just fruits of shallow lies made by petty people and all of it will be solved by someone telling the truth, right, Joon Hee? What I am worried about is Shin and Kyu Won. They really adooooraaable and cuuuuute and I'm glad the drama gave 2 entire episodes for us to see that cuteness but I am pretty uncertain if the both of them would face the following conflicts as one or they have to be not together. It's not like Shin's ever going to leave Kyu Won but Kyu Won, sandwiched between people's ego fight, is going to have a hard time thinking of both relationship maintenance and conflict-dealing. But it would be better to have a Lee Shin holding your hand all the way, no? Just sayin. In case Kyu Won would read this. Hahahaha!
This paragraph is now off-topic. But who cares, anyway? Lol. Initially, I thought the last scene of Heartstrings' episode 11 (Shin grab-hugs Kyu Won begging her not to go to school as to avoid from her getting hurt) was weak but now that I think of it, it actually is one of the most hanging episode-ender of Heartstrings. Why? Let me first recap that scene. Kyu Won finally got in touch with Bo Woon (since Shin took her away from school and took her cellphone too so she won't get to know the scandal that she already have) and heard that Seok Hyun already quit being the director. Kyu Won couldn't of course let Seok Hyun take all the blame himself and wants to go to school immediately to try to clear things up. Shin, knowing this is impossible, stops her. Kyu Won won't stop so Shin uses the if-you-leave-then-we're-over tactic but it didn't work (you could've just given her a ride and maintained the supportive boyfriend image, y'know, though I do understand why you're trying so hard not to let her go). So he grab-hugged her and said with all sincerity that it really really broke my heart, "Please... Don't go." Then, in comes the credits. Now, here's why I think it is such a cliff-hanger. I actually am very uncertain on what Kyu Won's reaction and next action would be. Would she listen to him? Or would she push him away angrily? Or would she push him away just enough as not to hurt Shin and let him feel she disregards him, but still go saving the director? Or what? It's probable that it's among the 3 choices. My heart just breaks because of the fact that either of the three would break both hearts plus mine. The first, though mild, would break Kyu Won's heart having to face all the petty people's wrath and Shin would hurt having to see Kyu Won endure all of these. The second is of course obvious but I don't feel the need of it happening since it's not like Shin was a part of the scheming or something, unless... Kyu Won wants to protect Shin, too. And the third, would of course hurt them both, having to part ways just when everything was already perfect. GAH. This is hard! What makes everything harder for me is that my prelims are already next week which makes preview-watch and recap-read restraining necessary. GAH. Why, oh, why? Booooooohoooooooo.
Comment. What I like most about the Kyu Won-Shin couple is that we are free from all the pridey way of showing love like "I'll just hold your hand because I can't see, nothing more." Not that it's not cute or so but I just find the direct showing of Shin of his love for Kyu Won, like putting a frog cushion on the passenger seat of his bike so Kyu Won could sit comfortably and they could go to school together, feeding her, admitting that he's damn worried or such things, so refreshing. I mean, how many dramas have we watched that had this type of puppyish hero? I actually have fallen in love with Shin. I'd learn playing gayageum, audition for our school's musical, cut my hair short and dye it brown, wear such long skirts, and become a real life Kyu Won if that's the only way I could meet a real life Shin. HAHA!
And also, another off-topic but this one's short. I am glad that Yong Hwa's acting isn't an issue now which means people have become contented with his acting and as we see, he has become good already. He's not excellent yet, of course, but at least his awkward acting that always made me cringe is now gone with the wind. In fact, I'd love to see him again in another drama. And I wouldn't mind if it's with Shin Hye again. I really won't, Korea. Lol.
5 or 4 episodes left already. Though it makes me feel sad, and my heart heavy, I am so glad I got to watch this drama. So sad, only little of the Koreans got to appreciate such a good drama. I am positive that this will gain much much much love from other countries where this has already been sold even prior to its premiere. And also, would it hurt if I wished for CN Blue to include Philippines as one of the lucky CN Blue concert places? Or Park Shin Hye to have a photoshoot here just like Song Joong Ki? Santa, if you're reading this, I'd be good girl. Promise.
[SPAZZ ATTACK] Jo Hyun Jae
Right now, if I were an ice cube, I should already be boiling. Okay, maybe not. Lol. I just am sooo melting right now.
The way I talk, it seems like I've seen him personally or even touch his car but no. I'm not that blessed. It's just that the Hyun Jae fangirl in me was revived. I am again spazzing like crazy like I did during 49 Days days (lol).
I am ashamed to admit I started neglecting him 2 weeks after the final episode of 49 Days was aired. I was just scared that if I don't deal with my feelings immediately, I'd be too disappointed if he would take a break for too long and do not appear often anymore after 49 Days so I decided to, you know, get over him. This neglection was worsened when I started watching Best Love and got smitten by Cha Seung Won (I'd like to spazz right now, remembering my Dokko Jin but I'm restraining myself since it would be a very big disrespect since I'm talking about Hyun Jae right now). But as I was thinking of something to help me kill time plus its companion, boredom, I suddenly remembered him [Hyun Jae] so I decided to check the website of my co-Hyun Jae fangirls, Wuri Jo Hyun Jae. And gosh, just seeing his mesmerizing brown eyes did the trick. It was like electricity flowed through my veins and my heart thumped like crazy that I actually hyperventilated. And yes, there are no exaggerations with what I just said. I felt like a girl who once again saw her first love and realized that the feeling is still there. It's a crazy feeling, yes, but it's wonderful and all. What fueled this feeling was a fan's description about her encounter with Hyun Jae when he was about to go home after attending Eugene's wedding. She described how everything around her stopped and went silent after Hyun Jae turned around when she called him and she actually shook hands with him. Lucky, lucky, lucky girl. Just seeing Hyun Jae, even if he's 200 meters away would be enough to make a year the best one but him acknowledging your existence and shaking hands with me? It's enough to make my heart pound like drinking 20 cups of coffee in one go, or my heart would just stop. Though I would really like to feign fainting just so he'd carry me and we'd get to be friends. You know, like those kdramas. Roflmao. But seriously, that girl was really lucky. Though it's weird that I don't envy her. Maybe because when I was reading her write-up, I felt like I was her. And also, I already met Hyun Jae, in my dreams (literally). I even hugged him and he... spoke our language. Lol. That might just be a dream but it felt so real that I didn't care. Dreaming of my crushes is actually rare so I was already satisfied with that. Crazy, right?
Ugh. I'm all crazy again and I don't know how I could put an end to this since there is no more Dokko Jin to ease the pain. No, Cha Seung Won wasn't a replacement! I love them both equally... Ack! I am torn. Good thing fangirls are not forced to choose one over another. Loyalty may be something nice to hear but with these pretty boys, I'd rather be sentenced guilty for unfaithfulness. Lol.
P. S. Wrote this 2 weeks ago so i wasn't able to update that Jo Hyun Jae has a new drama series but a C-TW drama (collaboration of China and Taiwan). More info here.
The way I talk, it seems like I've seen him personally or even touch his car but no. I'm not that blessed. It's just that the Hyun Jae fangirl in me was revived. I am again spazzing like crazy like I did during 49 Days days (lol).
I am ashamed to admit I started neglecting him 2 weeks after the final episode of 49 Days was aired. I was just scared that if I don't deal with my feelings immediately, I'd be too disappointed if he would take a break for too long and do not appear often anymore after 49 Days so I decided to, you know, get over him. This neglection was worsened when I started watching Best Love and got smitten by Cha Seung Won (I'd like to spazz right now, remembering my Dokko Jin but I'm restraining myself since it would be a very big disrespect since I'm talking about Hyun Jae right now). But as I was thinking of something to help me kill time plus its companion, boredom, I suddenly remembered him [Hyun Jae] so I decided to check the website of my co-Hyun Jae fangirls, Wuri Jo Hyun Jae. And gosh, just seeing his mesmerizing brown eyes did the trick. It was like electricity flowed through my veins and my heart thumped like crazy that I actually hyperventilated. And yes, there are no exaggerations with what I just said. I felt like a girl who once again saw her first love and realized that the feeling is still there. It's a crazy feeling, yes, but it's wonderful and all. What fueled this feeling was a fan's description about her encounter with Hyun Jae when he was about to go home after attending Eugene's wedding. She described how everything around her stopped and went silent after Hyun Jae turned around when she called him and she actually shook hands with him. Lucky, lucky, lucky girl. Just seeing Hyun Jae, even if he's 200 meters away would be enough to make a year the best one but him acknowledging your existence and shaking hands with me? It's enough to make my heart pound like drinking 20 cups of coffee in one go, or my heart would just stop. Though I would really like to feign fainting just so he'd carry me and we'd get to be friends. You know, like those kdramas. Roflmao. But seriously, that girl was really lucky. Though it's weird that I don't envy her. Maybe because when I was reading her write-up, I felt like I was her. And also, I already met Hyun Jae, in my dreams (literally). I even hugged him and he... spoke our language. Lol. That might just be a dream but it felt so real that I didn't care. Dreaming of my crushes is actually rare so I was already satisfied with that. Crazy, right?
Ugh. I'm all crazy again and I don't know how I could put an end to this since there is no more Dokko Jin to ease the pain. No, Cha Seung Won wasn't a replacement! I love them both equally... Ack! I am torn. Good thing fangirls are not forced to choose one over another. Loyalty may be something nice to hear but with these pretty boys, I'd rather be sentenced guilty for unfaithfulness. Lol.
P. S. Wrote this 2 weeks ago so i wasn't able to update that Jo Hyun Jae has a new drama series but a C-TW drama (collaboration of China and Taiwan). More info here.
Geun Shin: for Real or Just for Reel?
Geun-Shin, Suk-Hye or whatever they call it. I realized I still love that couple even after 2 years of their drama, You're Beautiful.
As one of those dramas that got not-so-good ratings in Korea but became an Internet/overseas hit, lots of fans had their fingers crossed that the main stars of You're Beautiful (2009), Jang Geun Suk (Hwang Tae Kyung) and Park Shin Hye (Go Mi Nam/ Go Mi Nyu), should start dating in real life. In fact, some very solid fans believed that these two are already secretly dating.
As much as other fans are, I, too, am torn if these two are really dating in real life. I know very well that the words 'We're just friends, nothing more' from the actors' and actresses' mouths should not be trusted and I really don't believe these two whenever they say that trite denial but I am just scared that my judgments are affected by my desires for them to really date.
What just gives me that glint of hope of them really dating is that despite their firm denials, their actions speak way too louder than their words. Like what, you say? Well, their fans have actually gathered lots of evidences which could at least be enough to make fans suspicious. Geun Suk really looks brighter when he's with Shin Hye (I was about to type Kyu Won, lol). Okay, that might not be a solid evidence since, you know, he's an actor. Hmm. Would it be weird if an actress and an actor are seen, of course at different instances, using the same piece of clothing (I just couldn't remember it exactly if it was a scarf or a coat with leopard print)? Well, it is, right? Unless they're something... something MORE.
As I observe these two whenever they'd have an interview together, or even separately but asked about the other, they have the same expression on their faces, even after 2 years (they just had an interview recently, and by recently, I mean days ago, in Section TV). Geun Suk, as I've mentioned earlier, is so bright, cheerful and giddy like a schoolboy but Shin Hye, on the other hand, is keeping her cool and somehow maintains that poker face whenever she's not the one being questioned (though she sometimes fails to keep that face, gives in and smiles). It's like Shin Hye is trying her best not to make what she and Geun Suk have obvious and out in the open since Geun Suk is just wearing his heart on his sleeves and sometimes, during his past interviews, it's like there's a big sticker with bold letters taped on his forehead saying "Shin Hye-ssi, saranghae." It sounds silly but that's what I see. And also, I get the feeling that it's just fan service but I feel a teeny bit of sincerity when a reporter asked him if he likes Shin Hye and he said, "Am I making it obvious?" Like what my Humanities teacher said, the safest way to hide a secret is to lay it out in the open. That way, people would think you're joking and don't really mean it and wouldn't think of it as true... when in fact, yonever spole truer words than those. And also, I just remembered, there's also this fan meeting of his, either in Taiwan or Japan, that he was heard saying that he loves Shin Hye. It was a bit blurry though and since it was a fanmeeting, it was a bit of noisy there so there is no certainty about that. It was also reportedly said that he actually visited her in the hospital during late hours after her readmission when she felt the after-effects of the car crash. Shin Hye, on the other hand, somehow acts awkwardly when Geun Suk is being brought up in interviews but she is so different in the BTS videos or those that are just for documentations' sake and not really for broadcast. I mean, if she really didn't like him and was just putting on an act for fanservice, it should be the other way around, right?
Also, I have formulated a hypothesis as to why they are not admitting the real score. Both of them are on the peak of their fame and at the age of having lots of head-over-heels-for them fans who would sell their souls to a, um, peddler just to be with them. Of course, once those fans, who are usually the leaders of the biggest fan clubs, would have their hearts broken once they know that their Geun Suk oppa or Shin Hye-ssi are no longer single and ready to mingle. With their careers on a very delicate moment and also the fear of developing violent, ruthless antis they need to keep their relationship just among themselves. Which is just sad since I see how cute a couple could be when they lay their relationship out in the open in Shin Hye's current drama (with Yong Hwa), Heartstrings. Maybe when the fans start to realize that they can never be the wife or husband of the two, they'd actually start pushing the two to find the partner they'll have for the rest of their lives and that might just be the perfect moment for the couple's real deal revelation.
All of those might be true. Or not. Well, we fans could only wish, right?
P. S: I am an inconsistent person so I feel the need of saying this. While I am an obvious GeunShin fan, I can't deny the fact that I like Dooley, too. (In case you don't know, Dooley is Shin Hye and Yong Hwa's couple name. Both of them has the surname Lee in Heartstrings that why it's 'dool' meaning two and 'Lee'. With a little letter play, it became Dooley). Ottokke? Which is more suitable for uri Shin Hye-ssi, the cute Hallyu All-Around Star or the simply sexy Soul Singer?
As one of those dramas that got not-so-good ratings in Korea but became an Internet/overseas hit, lots of fans had their fingers crossed that the main stars of You're Beautiful (2009), Jang Geun Suk (Hwang Tae Kyung) and Park Shin Hye (Go Mi Nam/ Go Mi Nyu), should start dating in real life. In fact, some very solid fans believed that these two are already secretly dating.
As much as other fans are, I, too, am torn if these two are really dating in real life. I know very well that the words 'We're just friends, nothing more' from the actors' and actresses' mouths should not be trusted and I really don't believe these two whenever they say that trite denial but I am just scared that my judgments are affected by my desires for them to really date.
What just gives me that glint of hope of them really dating is that despite their firm denials, their actions speak way too louder than their words. Like what, you say? Well, their fans have actually gathered lots of evidences which could at least be enough to make fans suspicious. Geun Suk really looks brighter when he's with Shin Hye (I was about to type Kyu Won, lol). Okay, that might not be a solid evidence since, you know, he's an actor. Hmm. Would it be weird if an actress and an actor are seen, of course at different instances, using the same piece of clothing (I just couldn't remember it exactly if it was a scarf or a coat with leopard print)? Well, it is, right? Unless they're something... something MORE.
As I observe these two whenever they'd have an interview together, or even separately but asked about the other, they have the same expression on their faces, even after 2 years (they just had an interview recently, and by recently, I mean days ago, in Section TV). Geun Suk, as I've mentioned earlier, is so bright, cheerful and giddy like a schoolboy but Shin Hye, on the other hand, is keeping her cool and somehow maintains that poker face whenever she's not the one being questioned (though she sometimes fails to keep that face, gives in and smiles). It's like Shin Hye is trying her best not to make what she and Geun Suk have obvious and out in the open since Geun Suk is just wearing his heart on his sleeves and sometimes, during his past interviews, it's like there's a big sticker with bold letters taped on his forehead saying "Shin Hye-ssi, saranghae." It sounds silly but that's what I see. And also, I get the feeling that it's just fan service but I feel a teeny bit of sincerity when a reporter asked him if he likes Shin Hye and he said, "Am I making it obvious?" Like what my Humanities teacher said, the safest way to hide a secret is to lay it out in the open. That way, people would think you're joking and don't really mean it and wouldn't think of it as true... when in fact, yonever spole truer words than those. And also, I just remembered, there's also this fan meeting of his, either in Taiwan or Japan, that he was heard saying that he loves Shin Hye. It was a bit blurry though and since it was a fanmeeting, it was a bit of noisy there so there is no certainty about that. It was also reportedly said that he actually visited her in the hospital during late hours after her readmission when she felt the after-effects of the car crash. Shin Hye, on the other hand, somehow acts awkwardly when Geun Suk is being brought up in interviews but she is so different in the BTS videos or those that are just for documentations' sake and not really for broadcast. I mean, if she really didn't like him and was just putting on an act for fanservice, it should be the other way around, right?
Also, I have formulated a hypothesis as to why they are not admitting the real score. Both of them are on the peak of their fame and at the age of having lots of head-over-heels-for them fans who would sell their souls to a, um, peddler just to be with them. Of course, once those fans, who are usually the leaders of the biggest fan clubs, would have their hearts broken once they know that their Geun Suk oppa or Shin Hye-ssi are no longer single and ready to mingle. With their careers on a very delicate moment and also the fear of developing violent, ruthless antis they need to keep their relationship just among themselves. Which is just sad since I see how cute a couple could be when they lay their relationship out in the open in Shin Hye's current drama (with Yong Hwa), Heartstrings. Maybe when the fans start to realize that they can never be the wife or husband of the two, they'd actually start pushing the two to find the partner they'll have for the rest of their lives and that might just be the perfect moment for the couple's real deal revelation.
All of those might be true. Or not. Well, we fans could only wish, right?
P. S: I am an inconsistent person so I feel the need of saying this. While I am an obvious GeunShin fan, I can't deny the fact that I like Dooley, too. (In case you don't know, Dooley is Shin Hye and Yong Hwa's couple name. Both of them has the surname Lee in Heartstrings that why it's 'dool' meaning two and 'Lee'. With a little letter play, it became Dooley). Ottokke? Which is more suitable for uri Shin Hye-ssi, the cute Hallyu All-Around Star or the simply sexy Soul Singer?
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